An INCEL is an INVOLUNTARY CELIBATE. This group of young males feel that WOMEN are the reason they are sexually frustrated and they make elaborate plans to either kill themselves so that significant females will suffer from their loss OR they choose to KILL OTHERS, usually including groups that include women and children.
Children born after 1984 are prone to see their lives through the prism of electronically fed images and have little experience in satisfying normal emotional arousal. Thus, they have to have someone to BLAME for their own dysfunction. Few INCELS work. Most live at home, often raging at their parents for controlling them. Most spend all awake hours at an internet site that supports their internal conflicts and raging. Most have been enabled to do NOTHING PRODUCTIVE all their lives and have been rewarded for any accomplishments such as music ability, sports interests, etc.
INCELS are unaware that there are FIVE ESSENTIAL FEELINGS IN ORDER TO BE A COMPLETE EMOTIONAL HUMAN BEING: Feelings are identified; then purpose of the feeling and finally, in the INCEL perception of the normal feeling
…Love- to feel Lovable (feeling unlovable)
…Closeness- open emotionally to share the feelings of others (vulnerable)
…Sex- pleasure, procreation and source of IDENTITY – (undifferentiated sexually)
…Anger – protection by attacking perceived source of any discomfort (raging)
…Fear – withdrawal into self or group that protects them from feeling vulnerable (isolating socially and emotionally; frustrated sexually).
This agency is the ONLY AGENCY in the U. S. who both understands and treats the INCEL mentality. These individuals are social and sexually undifferentiated, making alignments with anyone who makes expression of their misogyny acceptable. They feel all females are promiscuous at their expense. Mothers have sex; they are denied access to sex. Females peers can have anyone; they can have no one.
Mass murderers are often from INCEL associations or internally conflicted in the same manner even if not a part of the INCEL movement.
In my 58 years I have gone from a role of treating biologically based illnesses like schizophrenia and mood disorders (depression, mania, etc.) to the role of trying to intervene in the derailment of moral and belief systems that distort feeling about self and others. This is not easy work and most INCELS and other personality disorders do not volunteer for treatment. They create multiple social and sexual identities to justify their behaviors which usually are in conflict with family, religious, and cultural norms they live within.
We want families and others interested in our work to understand the ever-changing dynamics of our client population and also to understand how families can become targets for the repressed rage of INCELS and narcissists and others who have more BEHAVIORAL ISSUES to address than metabolic issues.
Times are “achanging” as they used to say. Mental health work is harder, more difficult to diagnose and is often undercut by families who cannot believe the level of pathology their child’s mind exhibits.
Again, the programs we talk to about this dynamic simply say: “We are NOT prepared to deal with this type of pathology.” Well, someone has to and it looks like we have been elected.
Grover Shaunty, MSW, Founding Director, The Mental Health Co-op